We Miss You Far More Than You Ever Knew

Leigh Ann Little  I am not sure how I will address this new blog entry. I can't even come up with an appropriate title. The two deaths of my very favorite people in two days just seem more than I can handle. But at 74, I suppose I will need to continue these tributes.

     I quietly, hopelessly and secretly fell in love with Leigh Ann in July of 2010. I had just completed the two most awful years I had ever experienced in teaching and had gained thirty pounds in the process. Let's just say I was not feeling too good about myself.

I had just moved to Kansas and didn't have much going for me at the time when John Turbayne called asking me if I wanted to meet him at a friend's home.

"Of course!" I responded, and John gave me directions to Leigh Ann's home. She was petite, attractive and the most intelligent person I had ever met. We all conversed, and I had an extremely enjoyable evening.

Later, I had the opportunity to see her again, though only on a few occasions. My favorite was the time when Leigh Ann introduced John and I to a number of Kansas City highlights, and we had a wonderful time. After that I met with her once or twice, then connected with her by telephone and email. 

Here Is Another Life Lesson: When a wonderful friend passes away you will always feel that you needed to have connected far more often, no matter how many times you did.

I love you, Leigh Ann, and may your new journey lead you through a fascinating afterlife. I look forward to seeing you at CrowMac Creek.

See more at https://www.leighannlittle.com/

 Back to Arizona and to Nature

    It's been a long while, too long since I had access to the back country, but I have returned. Don't get me wrong though. I enjoyed my life in Kansas. I met and enjoyed sharing time with Linda Taylor, Mike Kudlac, Dwayne Joe and many others

 

    I met and fell in love with Laura Mikels, but my time with her ended with her untimely death at age 45. After her loss, I knew that I needed to move on.

    

    I have long been complaining that I had nowhere to go where I was far enough away from civilization to enjoy the feeling one gets when hiking, running or biking up a mountain trail, and then finding the peace that can only be derived from natures' grandeur.

 

 Now I am in Arizona I feel Fulfilled.

A New Resident At CrowMac Creek

 Larry Bidtah, one of my closest friends and fellow teacher passed on February 15th, 2024. He died after a long struggle with cancer. He was good man and he was a person who worked with students with emotional problems. With his even personality, he gained the trust and respect of each of his students. 

He spent an enjoyable summer with me. We explored and hiked all around the Navajo Reservation. But the last time I saw him, I had been angry with him and, even though I may have had a reason to be angry, I should not have treated him the way I did. 

After everything, I realized what I had done. I tried to find him countless times, all without success. I tried to find him again today and this is what I found found:

Lawrence Bidtah

Good friends are few, it seems, and those relationships are well worth whatever we can do to keep them alive. 

I have written about CrowMac Creek in the past, and many of the residents at CrowMac Creek have moved from this life to the next. There really is a CrowMac Creek, but it is not called that. It is actually a little town in Arizona situated between Payson and Strawberry.

My father had purchased a cabin for our mother as a bonus for agreeing to move to Arizona. She really wasn't pleased to pull up roots and make the move. But she loved spending time in CrowMac Creek and it was a wonderful place to share with the family. We all watched our mother sit on a green and white webbed patio chair, drinking coffee and enjoying everything. I don't think I ever witnessed her any happier.

Our mother passed away after struggling through lung cancer. Our father remarried, and gave his new wife the cabin. She sold it and built more structures on her property. Then she kept my sisters and me away from our father.  Now our mother and father are gone and so is the cabin.

I created CrowMac Creek to keep my memories alive and many of the occupants had been close friends who had passed away. Gary Heil was a close friend for many years and resides in the area, at least in my mind. You will find him in previous posts and now works at the CrowMac Creek Chronicle owned and operated by my oldest friend, Howard Ray.  Laura Mikels, my last significant other as well as my fiancé has left life as we know it, but she now remains in the cabin and greets visitors when they arrive. Sue and James Haynes, my best and longest standing (and living) friends show up from time to time as well. And Mike Kudlac, another living good friend was able to make a virtual visit to join with us for a ghost hunt. When the weather is nice, and in the coolness of the morning, you will see my mother sitting in her chair enjoying the scent of the Ponderosa Pine and the chattering of blue jays. Now I understand that Larry Bidtah has already shown up in CrowMac Creek and is using his expert carpentry skills to create patio and deck furniture. He also enjoys playing cards, which pleases Laura.

I would wager that many of you already know that the cabin in CrowMac Creek is Heaven, my Heaven. And I know that I'll be seeing Larry again with Laura and Gary Heil and all of the rest of our visitors. More later.

The American Dream: All But Gone

 In 2000, I worked as a track coach and substitute teacher, applying and ultimately failing at securing a teaching position. I lived in a nice little town, Mancos, Colorado, and as I taught, I met many families where, upon high school graduation, their sons and daughters were unable to secure housing close to family and friends. There was little work and the housing prices were well out of the reach of these young people. 

This was prior to the wave of greed that ravaged this country after Covid. Understandably, with workers falling ill, and a broken supply chain, the costs of doing business increased, sometimes generating prices beyond what people could pay. We saw this in the prices of groceries, household goods, and especially housing. And worse, after Covid had come and gone, the increased prices remained the same and others actually increased. 

We are living in an era where profits and corporate management incomes have increased substantially. Now I don't begrudge people wanting to better their finances, but this system cannot exist without growing our level of poverty. 

When more people start falling out of the economics of today, they will not have the cash to pay for rent, transportation needed to acquire a job, food and healthcare. When they rent now, they know that  they will need to pay $100 to $200 monthly increases per year. They also know that the only way to keep on top of their finances will be to purchase a home, which they can no longer afford.

There are now 37.9 million people in the US living in poverty with more to come if nothing changes. We have many property investors buying up and homes. As they do, there is a  decrease the supply, making homes even more expensive, and as homes become more expensive, more families are evicted and then falling into poverty.

What happens to people in poverty? Since they cannot earn as much as they need, they become desperate, and desperation may create more theft, broken families, homelessness, and something else. Businesses rely upon customers having the income to purchase their products. If their paying customers thin out due to inability to pay then there will be business closings and possibly bankruptcies. This process will cycle and with more and more people losing jobs due to closures and bankruptcies, more businesses causing more people losing their income, then becoming incapable to purchase items in stores.

We need to see and change this. If we cannot reverse these trends, we will become just another banana republic.

     Long time, no see, but I'm back. I'm teaming up with my good friend and fellow life long learner, Mike Kudlac in a new portrayal of the lives and times of the old west. It won't be long before we begin at Westport, Missouri where early trappers begin their treks to the Rocky Mountains and those who established the Santa Fe Trail using freight wagons that hauled the niceties of the East to those in New Mexico with an appetite in for these goods. 

Post Script: Mike and I never found that part of the Missouri River where trappers and traders shoved off and began their treks west. In fact we found that this port of embarkation was closer to Independence. 

Exiting Afghanistan

     I hate seeing the way we are leaving Afghanistan, but one thing is true. We need to leave. There is no more benefit in remaining. It's too dangerous a place to send our men and women, and there is little reason spend another American cent on a country who has never enjoyed peace.  Now with members of the Afghan army and police officers abandoning their posts, there is a terrible rush to leave; a rush to leave after spending millions and losing thousands of our men and women in uniform. And know that the schools we developed and the new culture elevating women's opportunities we helped create will vanish before the dust settles on an Afghan sunset. 

    We need to leave. There's little reason to stay anymore. We can't bring the lives lost back, and we can't un-spend the billions we've spent. But this won't be pretty. Many will die and who knows what punishment the Taliban will lay on those who helped us, and believed in our mission. We still need to leave.

    We do need to remember how we arrived in Afghanistan, why we arrived in Afghanistan, and who shoved us into this crazy war. 

    As always, thank a Republican for me.

Leaving Afghanistan

        Well, it's all but over. We will finally be leaving Afghanistan, but it is just another one of those wars where we leave the country broken. As I write this account ISIS is running through the country destroying everything in their path. We will hang around and protect whatever we can, relying on the Afghani Army to protect what they can. But they won't last long. I'm not saying that we won't launch a few missiles, drones and artillery, but it will have little effect, and ISIS  will continue. 

        This has come at a heavy expense. The BBC estimates about 3500 coalition soldiers have been killed, 2312 of whom have been Americans, and Afghani Security deaths are estimated at 69000. $530 billion has been spent in the process.

        What is probably the worst of this is that many knowledgeable voices, voices who understood the peril into which we were sending our troops, were shut down by these words. "You don't support the troops!" I guess Republicans believe that supporting the troops means putting our men into costly and unwinnable wars. Thank a Republican for me.